


Two Sides

by kcstories



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-23
Updated: 2010-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-06 15:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcstories/pseuds/kcstories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both sides of the story remain unspoken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Sides

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** Written for hd_angst in March 2007.  
> **Disclaimer:** The Potterverse is JKR's, not mine. Written for fun, not profit.  
> **Warnings:** Angst and daftness.

**I.**

Sneaking back into your dorm, you have never known the colour red to look so angry or infuriatingly bright.

Or maybe that's just you.

You have a deep blush on your cheeks and a gnawing feeling in your stomach and your fists are clenched again, nails digging into your skin until it almost hurts.

You wish that just once, he'd say something—anything—or ask you to stay the night.

But you know that he won't.

He doesn't care. This means nothing to him.

In truth, it shouldn't mean anything to you either. You shouldn't spend your days dreaming about a future with someone who'll never return your love, someone you can't even tell how you really feel.

If you were to ever say those words, he'd grin at you ferociously, rather like the lions on your wallpaper are doing now, and he'd laugh in your face, mock you for being so needy and dependent and _weak_.

Sometimes you wonder why you ever accepted this ongoing arrangement, and why you don’t try to break free now, while you still can.

It all started during the war. The spy succeeded in seducing the hero and the overdone cliché would be funny, almost hilarious from the right kind of angle, if only the outcome wasn't so extremely painful.

Sometimes you ache to tell him what you really want from this, from him.

But you can't. You mustn't.

You're certain he would break you, for the simple reason that he can, and because at the end of the day, you're still Potter and Malfoy and there's no love lost between the two of you.

Or at least there shouldn't be.

So yours remains unspoken.

You crawl back into your bed, you shut your eyes and you wait for sleep to claim you, take you away to a better world, a happier place where he loves you just as much as you do him.

* * *

**II.**

Your green bed curtains are all you see as you wake up alone.

You let out a weary sigh, no longer bothering to conceal your disappointment, if only from yourself.

Sometimes, you wish he would say something—anything, give you a sign, let something slip or _accidentally-on-purpose_ stay until morning.

He never does.

Some nights, he falls asleep afterwards, and those are moments you cherish.

You watch him and you stroke his hair (softly, so as not to wake him), while he lies there looking innocent and almost like the eighteen-year-old he still is, not the bitter adult he was forced to become, weighed down by the burden of responsibility and guilt that he carries on his shoulders, even now, even though the Dark Lord has long gone.

Of course, guilt is something you know a thing or two about.

You wish you could take back all the nasty things you did to him over the years, all the cruel words you thoughtlessly spat in his face, but you can't.

And you've been taught to never ask for forgiveness.

Or to show that you care.

But maybe you can still learn, if you allow yourself enough time to overcome that obstacle, too.

So many things have already changed.

Though there's still the matter of pride as well.

You get out of bed and again you promise yourself that whatever happens, you won't be the one to admit his feelings first.

 

 


End file.
